Sunday, 21 December 2008




I'm off from uni now for a few weeks and I've been off work ill as well today. Feel pure sick which I hate. I can cope with feeling rotten and cold and shivery etc but feeling squeamish just does my box in. Anyway having time off is quite weird actually cos I feel like I've been on the go and thinking constantly about design and all the new folk I've met and working etc and now today, sitting in and just been thinking about other stuff. I mean I put myself down for over-time over Christmas and New year but the bosses saw fit to give some people plenty of shifts, some people very and little and soley with me none. It pisses me off and I could go to the union about it but to be honest that's just giving the whole thing to much importance. After six years working in a place I just feel like it's not going to change, just get consistantly worse. I think in a situation like that it's better to try and find something better and focus my energies on that rather than trying to change the place from the inside and getting nowhere no matter how many times you go to the union. Working in that place has taken up so much time and aye it used to be a good laugh but I wonder about all the other things I could have done while I wasted years in there. A lot of folk in the uni have worked in theatre or television or been away working abroad. I think for the past few years I was so into partying and bumming about that I maybe didn't look for opportunitys to do other things. So that's going to change. Next year I'm not spending another summer getting treated like a primary school kid in the kitchen. I'm not sure what to do. Ideally I would love to get either a van or tent and travel about the country a bit, take in the festivals etc. Financially that could be tricky though. A van would be dear for insurance and fuel. I suppose I could get a decent tent and go about by car. I was also looking on this site http://www.wwoof.org/ which stands for "worldwilde opportunitys in organic farming". It's something I'm interested in and after months being stuck in the design room it would be brilliant to work outdoors. There's some really interesting communitys registered with the orginisation and it could be rewarding. Basically you work for your keep which is good but I'd miss my deep fried pizza's if I'm being honest. In the past I've tried to organise to do things with my mates. Now I'm pretty hopless and disorganised but they're even worse so our plans never really get off the ground. I've always been put off doing things by myself but if I don't and wait on my mates then it's not going to happen and then chances pass you by. I mean I met an old friend the other day and he's heading off to India for fourteen weeks and then over to Canada. The freedom of just doing that and getting makes feel so envious. I hate feeling trapped in situations. Not being tied down or held back is so important. At last now, I'm lucky that I'm on a course I'm loving and want to be good at. In the past I've never cared if I do well at college or not because I didn't really want to be there. That's changed now but I still amn't entirley comfortable with the thought of being tied to one place for three years. The way to look at it I guess though is that I'm not tied down or trapped at all; I'll stay for three years cos I want to. Thats fine. One of the reason's I'm doing this course in the first place is actually to open up doors. I want to be able to travel and work in different places and have something that I can actually work thats not just bar work etc. Anyway I'm rambling like a weirdo now. I found this picture on a blog today which I thought was quite cool and kind got me thinking about all these things anyway.


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